One of our dear patients died last week from pancreatic cancer. Her husband of 40 years had gotten up on her bed and was lying next to her when she passed. One of their children came in the room and said, “I think she is gone.” The huband replied, “Yes. She died a little while ago.”
As a family physician I have comforted many who have lost spouses. More than one has told me that it takes two years for the real hurt to go away. Two years seems to be enough time to allow a return to more normal functioning.
Since “two will become one flesh,” ending a marriage is like splitting an organism. It is a death of something that had a life of its own.
Psychologists say that a human has more difficulty accepting her/his slow age-related physical and mental decline than facing death. I think that is spot on.
But who would deny that at the time of their deaths, Mother Teresa was not happier than Princess Diana? Into her 80’s, Mother Teresa experienced ”old aging,” the insidious decline. She had wrinkles but were they not wrinkles of meaning and joy?
What I am saying is that although they are seen as traditionally unhappy topics, aging and death are, for many, times of unspeakable joy. Those of us at Texas Hospice know of many who find meaning in their weakness, and, for the first time, love in surrender to Him. When we are weak, we are strong.
One of the best stories I have heard is about a very successful businessman whose misplaced priorities had caused estrangement between him and his sons. When he succumbed to cancer at a young age, I believe he was in his 60’s, he reconciled to God. Having lost his health, he gave up his selfishness and pride.
After making peace with God he felt compelled to apologize to his children and ask for their forgivenss. What ensued was a few weeks of beautiful bringing together what was apart. At the very end, surrounded by family, he said, “If this is dying, who wants to go on living?”
“Today you will be with me in paradise,” said the Savior to the thief. I want to be that thief.
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Great post, Brian.
Thank you for serving people at all stages of life. You are a great encourager.
This post helps put things in the proper perspective – the Truth will set us free, and getting the proper perspective is one key step to Truth and true freedom.
Continued blessings to you and your team.
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