We had the privilege of taking care of a married couple, both of whom lived at home while on our hospice service. They were a beautiful couple, each with a very different disease process, and struggling through a very difficult time of life.
Recently, the husband succumbed to his illness and died. The wife placed his cremated remains into a beautiful vase. It rests in their living room.
On a recent visit, our nurse remarked to the wife about the man’s ashes, how she was glad to see them there. That little mentioning of the woman’s late husband meant a tremendous amount to her, for she didn’t want anyone to forget about him.
Many family members worry about forgetting details about their lost loved one. They want to never forget facial expressions, body posturing, conversations and the like. Recently a woman told me that of all things she missed the sound of her father’s voice: “He had such a great voice.”
That we preserve the memories of our loved ones is another piece of evidence that we are eternal beings. Our eternality and inherent value as humans form the centerpiece of handling bereavement, both for the family members and our chaplains. As the psalmist said, “Precious are the deaths of His loved ones in the eyes of the Lord.”
One Response to “Don’t forget me”
from a daughter’s perspective
i miss my father’s voice the most. on sundays my parents would always call and the first thing my dad would say is, ” is your car running? have you got enough money?”
i did not understand this or appreciate this until much later after he was gone and i realized these were ways in which a father could connect with his daughter. me being a single mother with a small child i appreciated this and have come to understand it better since his passing.